Thanksgiving in the South

I live in the South and, as most people know, Southerners are very fond of deep fried food. Chicken, okra (shudder), onions, and even pickles are all fried southern favorites. So it should come as no surprise that we also deep fry turkeys. We are southern imports (born and raised elsewhere) so when my husband first mentioned to me that he would like to spend one hundred dollars for an Official Turkey Fryer I thought that he was joking. Like we need one more way to consume too many calories on our favorite Thursday of the year. But he insisted that this would be a Good Purchase that would get Good Use every year. So we bought the damned thing.

The first year we had it I bought two turkeys. One for the oven and one to fuck up in the fryer. Mine took many hours in the oven. The one Don cooked was done in about 45 minutes. I still wasn't impressed. I hate fried chicken so I assumed that I would hate a big, greasy turkey that had been deep fried. But here is the thing - it wasn't greasy at all. In fact, the only difference between our two birds was that the fried one was moist and tender on the inside. They say its because the peanut oil cauterizes the skin and locks in the moisture. At any rate, it's delicious and how we prepare our bird every year now. It's become a family tradition and now "dropping the bird" into the oil has become a must-see family event. Every adult pours a cocktail and gets ready to call 911 in case Don puts it in upside down (apparently it will come shooting out of the pot and start a big grease fire). Have you heard the popular saying of a Southerners last words? It's "HEY! Watch this...!"

This process calls for quite a large amount of peanut oil and this is why, in fact, I have a 35 pound jug of it in my laundry room as I type. For some reason (it may be just to annoy me) my husband leaves the old oil in the fryer in our garage ALL YEAR LONG. The day before Thanksgiving he dumps out the old stuff, scrubs the pot out and gets it ready for the fresh oil.

This past summer I had the kids outside playing in the sprinklers. The girls were in their bathing suits and Jax was in his birthday suit. I turned my back on him for ONE SECOND and spun around when I heard him make a strange noise. I have no idea what happened but he was standing next to the fryer and his naked body was COMPLETELY coated in old, funky peanut oil. He had marinated himself in rancid peanut oil that had been used to fry a turkey 8 months ago. Ick. It was in his hair, all over his sweet little face as well as covering his body. Jax was rapidly blinking, trying to get it out of his eyes. He knew when he saw me staring that he was in Trouble. So that's when he tried to run away. Of course the peanut oil was all over the ground, too. So he did a little Road Runner thing with his legs moving yet making no headway and then his feet went flying out from under him. He landed flat on his ass and slid halfway across our garage.

He wasn't old enough to talk yet but I'll bet he was thinking, "HEY! Watch this...!"

PS Thanks to Amy at for reminding me about this!! Bex


Cindy Breninger said…
hehehe, ok, that was pretty funny! hehehehe loved it. :)
Bex said…
Thanks, Cindy! I loved your site, too. Thanks for stopping by! Bex

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