My daughter Amanda turned 8 the other day. We decided to invite a few of her favorite friends to go to Phillips Arena for Disney On Ice Presents...High School Musical!!! Yippee....
I piled them all into my car and put the movie soundtrack in my CD player. "Oooohhhh...turn it up! I LOVE THIS SONG!!!" I felt slightly nauseated as I complied. But hey, when I was their age I thought that Shaun Cassidy was the sexiest man EVER. So I decided to not judge TOO harshly. I did, however, make a comment under my breath to Amanda who, in turn, put her hand on my shoulder and whispered, "Mom, please try not to embarrass me today." WHAT?!!! I'm the cool mom! I mean, I have a tattoo on my ass for christs sake! I've danced on more bars than she'll (hopefully) ever get into!!! Ugh. I digress.
So there I was with 6 little girls at a giant Ice Capades show. It was the gayest thing ever. And by 'gay' I don't mean homosexuals spinning through the air (although they certainly were). I mean it in the older sense of the word - bright and showy. Everyone was just so fucking HAPPY. Everyone but me, that is.
When we walked into the arena one of the little girls in our group suddenly fell flat on the floor. I asked her if she was ok and she said that she wasn't. She also said that she had done this on purpose. I looked at her more closely. She was on her back, not unlike a crab, with her hands and feet on the floor. But she was also about as close to being horizontal as one could be. I asked her to stand and she slowly shook her head while never taking her eyes off of the balcony. Ahhhh. She's acrophobic. Terrified of heights. THIS is the kind of information I like to have before I take someone else's 7 year old downtown with six other little kids. I told her to suck it up and nobody would get hurt.
It did not escape my attention that there was a bar right next to the place where they sold snow cones (FOR FIFTEEN DOLLARS A PIECE). I'd be a big fat liar if I told you that I didn't consider getting a little cup o' something to elevate my mood. But the soccer mom in me prevailed and I remained sober for The Show. The things I do for my kids.
The good news is that I survived, came home and knocked back a Cosmo and all was right again. The bad news is that I now know all of the words to "We're All In This Together" by heart. And in my CD changer in the car, nestled between Nine Inch Nails and Marilyn Manson is the soundtrack for High School Musical. I probably need to give my tattoo back. I'm no longer worthy.
I piled them all into my car and put the movie soundtrack in my CD player. "Oooohhhh...turn it up! I LOVE THIS SONG!!!" I felt slightly nauseated as I complied. But hey, when I was their age I thought that Shaun Cassidy was the sexiest man EVER. So I decided to not judge TOO harshly. I did, however, make a comment under my breath to Amanda who, in turn, put her hand on my shoulder and whispered, "Mom, please try not to embarrass me today." WHAT?!!! I'm the cool mom! I mean, I have a tattoo on my ass for christs sake! I've danced on more bars than she'll (hopefully) ever get into!!! Ugh. I digress.
So there I was with 6 little girls at a giant Ice Capades show. It was the gayest thing ever. And by 'gay' I don't mean homosexuals spinning through the air (although they certainly were). I mean it in the older sense of the word - bright and showy. Everyone was just so fucking HAPPY. Everyone but me, that is.
When we walked into the arena one of the little girls in our group suddenly fell flat on the floor. I asked her if she was ok and she said that she wasn't. She also said that she had done this on purpose. I looked at her more closely. She was on her back, not unlike a crab, with her hands and feet on the floor. But she was also about as close to being horizontal as one could be. I asked her to stand and she slowly shook her head while never taking her eyes off of the balcony. Ahhhh. She's acrophobic. Terrified of heights. THIS is the kind of information I like to have before I take someone else's 7 year old downtown with six other little kids. I told her to suck it up and nobody would get hurt.
It did not escape my attention that there was a bar right next to the place where they sold snow cones (FOR FIFTEEN DOLLARS A PIECE). I'd be a big fat liar if I told you that I didn't consider getting a little cup o' something to elevate my mood. But the soccer mom in me prevailed and I remained sober for The Show. The things I do for my kids.
The good news is that I survived, came home and knocked back a Cosmo and all was right again. The bad news is that I now know all of the words to "We're All In This Together" by heart. And in my CD changer in the car, nestled between Nine Inch Nails and Marilyn Manson is the soundtrack for High School Musical. I probably need to give my tattoo back. I'm no longer worthy.
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