Marauded by Mascara

I did the stupidest thing today. I was getting ready to go out for drinks with my husband and the people from his office. Eager to make a good impression I decided to wear makeup (it was really for the safety of all involved). Anyway, I was about done with it and got out the mascara.

Today I am feeling SAUCY! Today...TWO coats of mascara!

After applying my luxurious two coats I stopped to appreciate the noticeable difference between my 'before' and 'after'. Not too shabby! Now, ready for the coup de gras, I picked up my bottle of perfume and gave a gentle pump. Right into my eyes. Naturally my eyes involuntarily squeezed shut from the pain of having an alcohol related substance squirted into them.

My carefully applied double coat of mascara - which normally takes ten minutes to dry on my lashes - was now, in an instant, hermetically sealed into the skin surrounding my eye. And did I mention that it hurt like a mother fucker. Or is that Mother Fucker? You know what I mean...

I cleaned up and went to the bar - late - to meet up with everyone. My eyes were red and swollen and my makeup was splotchy from the cleanup effort. They probably think I'm on drugs. Or, even worse, a compulsive crier or something. Fucking mascara.

Comments

Anonymous said…

Holy mother..... LMAO
I can not help but think if I had been there to see it go down I would have fallen to the ground and laughed my ass off. I am sorry for this, as I can imagine it musta hurt like a son of a biotch!!!

Thank you so much for stopping by my page, Don't be a stranger. I am glad you did, I am excited to read more of your postings.

Much respect~d

8:55 PM

Bex said…

Thanks, D!

9:44 AM

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