This video has two parts. The first one shows my husband (on the phone) and our son, Jax. Amanda makes a brief appearance, too. The second part is Jax and me. I have no idea what cracked him up but I love the video.
This picture will make sense in a minute. But before we get started, can you get a load of that mullet?! Sweet niblets! Anyway....
My white carpet needs to be cleaned. So I bought some oxy stain remover, rented a carpet steamer and went to work. It worked pretty well but there was a suspected mold stain that didn't come out so I googled "how to get mold out of carpet".
One of Googles suggestions was a link to a website called FunAdvice.com so I checked it out. And that's when I saw it; one of the categories at the bottom of the page invited me to learn how to make a homemade vibrator. A...wha...???
Being the amateur scientist that I am, I felt obligated to check it out. You know, for sciences sake (and maybe a little bit because my husband is out of town).
Apparently MacGyvers lesser educated sister uses this website because I saw the following post: did you ever get to make this home made vibrator? We are considering this. I love my mans shape of his pen*s. He wants to m…
So you know...I live in Florida now. The good news is that my southern accent is stronger than ever - I think it was some sort of defense mechanism...of or for what, I have no idea. I definitely miss Atlanta and my friends, though, especially now. Spring in Atlanta is SO beautiful.
But Florida is pretty nice, too. We go to the beach at least once a week and we all love having a pool in the backyard. Also, my husband makes me a Planter's Punch every night and I don't even feel guilty by knocking it back - we're on vacation, right??
A couple of weeks ago I was reading the news and saw this weird picture:
In case your eyes can't make sense of it, I'll give you a hint. It's not a puppy. I'm guessing it's not an air freshener, either. It is, in fact, a Burmese Python that ruptured and now has a really big dead Alligator sticking out of it's stomach. Oh, and something ate the snakes head off. That's why there is no head there.
At the risk of increasing my "Weird-O" and "Pervy" visitors ( - love you guys), I was thinking about writing about breastfeeding today. Because nobody ever tells you the Real Deal about this stuff. And that's just wrong.
So. When I was pregnant with my first kid I thought to myself, "Yeah, I'll probably breastfeed her. I mean, I have the hooters and everything, so why not??" Truth be told, I thought that it would be a very natural and beautiful thing that she and I would both embrace with maternal-bondish delight. So imagine my surprise when it HURT like a MOTHER FUCKER.
Every time she would latch on my toes would curl in pain. The lactation consultants were very encouraging in a cheerleader kind of way, "Yes!! That's WONDERFUL! Look at that latch - you're a genius!!!" But I didn't feel like a genius. I felt like a moron who just couldn't get the idea without going to some intensive courses on the matter. And my kid seemed …