This video has two parts. The first one shows my husband (on the phone) and our son, Jax. Amanda makes a brief appearance, too. The second part is Jax and me. I have no idea what cracked him up but I love the video.
This picture will make sense in a minute. But before we get started, can you get a load of that mullet?! Sweet niblets! Anyway....
My white carpet needs to be cleaned. So I bought some oxy stain remover, rented a carpet steamer and went to work. It worked pretty well but there was a suspected mold stain that didn't come out so I googled "how to get mold out of carpet".
One of Googles suggestions was a link to a website called FunAdvice.com so I checked it out. And that's when I saw it; one of the categories at the bottom of the page invited me to learn how to make a homemade vibrator. A...wha...???
Being the amateur scientist that I am, I felt obligated to check it out. You know, for sciences sake (and maybe a little bit because my husband is out of town).
Apparently MacGyvers lesser educated sister uses this website because I saw the following post: did you ever get to make this home made vibrator? We are considering this. I love my mans shape of his pen*s. He wants to m…
So you know...I live in Florida now. The good news is that my southern accent is stronger than ever - I think it was some sort of defense mechanism...of or for what, I have no idea. I definitely miss Atlanta and my friends, though, especially now. Spring in Atlanta is SO beautiful.
But Florida is pretty nice, too. We go to the beach at least once a week and we all love having a pool in the backyard. Also, my husband makes me a Planter's Punch every night and I don't even feel guilty by knocking it back - we're on vacation, right??
A couple of weeks ago I was reading the news and saw this weird picture:
In case your eyes can't make sense of it, I'll give you a hint. It's not a puppy. I'm guessing it's not an air freshener, either. It is, in fact, a Burmese Python that ruptured and now has a really big dead Alligator sticking out of it's stomach. Oh, and something ate the snakes head off. That's why there is no head there.
Oh, snap. Today is my fortieth birthday. FORTY! As in, I'm not in my 30's anymore! It's kind of a shock. Isn't that weird? It's like having a clown car sneak up on you - you can see and hear it coming - yet somehow you're still surprised when the clowns start piling out. It's the same thing with my age. I knew I was progressing nicely through the thirties. Yet somehow, I went to bed when I was 39 years and 364 days old and woke as a forty year old. My first thought was, "What the fuck...I'm how old?!"
I've heard that many women have some "work" done in their 40's, believing that little "tweaks" here and there are more natural looking then if you have a major overhaul when you turn 60. When a forty year old gets something done her friends say, "Wow! You look well rested - that vacation did you wonders!" But when a woman of "a certain age" gets it done her friends give each other knowing looks and s…